The mother in the school pick-up line. The new mom whose photo on Instagram flaunts the fact that she is back to her pre-baby weight. The kids who are reading two grade levels ahead of yours. And, the kids who are running amuck in the clothing store and you’re glad they’re not yours.

Comparisons.

There are opportunities all around us– all the time. All day, every day. But, is comparing yourself to others a good thing, sister?

Whether you’re the victim or the hero of the comparison, coming to a mental space where you can stop comparing yourself to others is monumental in your walk with the Lord.

While we can think it’s trivial or even insignificant to compare, and that it leads to little or no repercussions, the Word of God paints a different truth for us.

Sister, you are made in the image of God, handcrafted by God, His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10 ESV).

So– if all of that is true, then you should know, trust, and believe that God did not make any mistakes making you, you. He not only has specific purposes and plans for you, but also specific works for which you were specially created to walk out.

Therefore, it’s unfruitful to compare because your hand-crafted path is your path, and not for anyone but you. That also means that others’ paths are not for you either, right?

how to stop comparing yourself to others

The Dangers of Comparing Yourself to Others

We are fearfully and wonderfully made by our creative, powerful, all-knowing God. He has made each of us according to His omniscience and will. He doesn’t make mistakes.

We can rest in that.

Comparing yourself to others never brings about the joy and happiness that so many seek for their lives. We know this before we start playing the game, yet we still end up playing, expecting different results. Or, perhaps it's just a habit.

Based on my personal experience, I've noticed that comparisons can lead to a few unfruitful attitudes that harm our walk with the Lord:

Discontentment

1 Timothy 6:6 tells us that contentment should accompany godliness, and when it does, it proves to be a great gain. Why? Because all we have comes from the Lord, and when we realize this truth, we focus more on His goodness and His provision– not on what we don't have (which becomes so clear when all we do is compare!).

It's so easy to be unhappy with our own life when we compare it with the life of someone who seems to be doing better than us. Yet, when we are mindful to look to Jesus, seek His will for our life, and realize that in His omniscience He gives to each one of us as He wills, we can know, trust, and believe that our life is what He desires for it to be.

In short: The Lord’s goal for us isn’t happiness. Seeking the Lord and His will leads to contentment in Him. Comparisons lead to discontentment.

Pride

Yes, pride. For most, thoughts of comparing yourself to others come from the perspective of seeing others as greater. However, there are always two sides to a coin.

Comparisons can lead to a sense of pride when we view our life, situation, or circumstances as the greater one (or maybe pride was already there, and the comparisons just made it come to light).

“For who considers you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? ”

— 1 Corinthians 4:7 NASB

We live in a world where people believe they are gods of their own information, thoughts, and opinions. If someone doesn't agree with their viewpoint, there is a sense of arrogance and pride that ensues. Many believe that the only “truth” that exists is what their opinion represents.

But, we have no right to consider ourselves superior to others. We have no room to boast unless we are boasting in the Lord, for He has given us everything (1 Corinthians 4:7). He is the Truth– not our thoughts and opinions.

Comparisons put us in a place where we're only thinking about ourselves, either positively (pride), or negatively (discontentment), and not thinking about Jesus.

Envy

Sister, when we don’t rest in the fact that God has given us His best for our lives in His creation of us, it’s easy to long for something “more.” More wealth, more beauty, more followers, more status. But God’s Word tells us in James 3:16 that disorder and every evil thing come from jealousy and selfish ambition.

This envy begins in our hearts, manifests in our thoughts, words, and attitudes, and then seeps out into our environment. Envy is felt like tension, so thick you can cut it with a proverbial knife. It’s not good, sister.

Again, we know this, but when we’re stuck in the mindset of comparing ourselves to others, it’s the “natural” route to take.

But oftentimes, the Lord’s ways are not what seems natural. It’s not the easy route. Focusing on Jesus can be more challenging than focusing on all of the tangible things we see right in front of us.

However, it’s necessary. Our walk only keeps to the Lord’s path if we walk in the Lord’s ways. He directs our steps and lights our path for a reason. We only stumble when we step off the path.

Reasons to stop comparing yourself to others

There are so many reasons why comparing is not good, but let’s focus on these two really big ones. When we’re stuck in the habit of comparing ourselves to others, there’s not a lot of room left to see our lives through His eyes. And here’s what the Lord desires for us to remember:

We don’t exist to please people.

We’re indeed to be a light in this dark world and serve people, but in doing so, the intention of our hearts should not be to please people.

If it is, then we’re doing it for the wrong reasons.

We exist to be a bondservant of Christ, living to please Him. If we’re constantly seeking to please other people and find favor in their eyes, they’ve become our god and we’ve become their bond-servants, not Christ’s (Galatians 1:10).

We only need to look to Jesus as our standard.

Hebrews 12:2 calls Jesus the “author (or originator) and perfecter of our faith. If it is from Him and through Him and to Him that all things flow, including our faith, then why do we take our eyes off of Him so often, and let others trip us up? We know that if we’re running a race, the blinders must stay on— we shouldn’t run while looking in the stands or on the sidelines to see what else is going on. Yet, our Christian walk consists of this mistake so often.

We see the beautiful photos highlighting what this mom did with her kid last week. We sit and contemplate what that mom’s little did at this morning’s playgroup. We wonder why the mom at the grocery store had angelic children who walked quietly at her side, while ours ran up and down the aisles. Or, we think, “so glad that’s not my child” when we see a mom with a screaming toddler waiting in the checkout line.

All of these mental antics are evidence we are playing the comparison game, sister. We are letting the obstacles and the sin which so easily ensnares us trip us up (Hebrews 12:-1) because we’re focused on the sidelines.

And, do you notice that Jesus’s name isn't a part of any of these scenarios? None of the above had anything to do with the One who holds us all together.

That's because when you're comparing yourself to others you're not thinking about Jesus.

He and He alone is our standard. We look to Him for our decisions in how we raise our children and carry out the gift we've been given as mothers.

Let's be mindful to remember that, as the Author of our faith, what He has for us and our child is what He has for us– even if it looks drastically different than the life of the mom next door. No two faith walks and journeys through motherhood will look the same– so we need to stop expecting it to.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 5 Practical Tips

When you’re mindful to keep your eyes on the Lord, and not everyone else, major things can happen. Here are a few practical ways you can do so.

#1: Focus on the Word of God.

Make time for God. Spend time studying the Bible and growing in your walk with Him. As you study the Word, you grow in His wisdom and gain a perspective in life that truly matters– His perspective. Focus more on who He is, and less time on who you think you should be.

#2: Read Ephesians 2.

How often do you think about who you are in Christ? I know the world wants you to think about whether or not we’re following the latest fashion trend and if the lighting for your last selfie was good enough. But body types and beauty standards don’t define you. Christ does. His definitions for you trump all hashtags on your social feeds. Grab your Bible and read His Words so you don’t fall for the lies.

#3: Trust God for your contentment.

As Paul says in Philippians 4:11-12, you too can be content, no matter your circumstances. Remember, it is the Lord who supplies you with all you need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), and gives you things for your enjoyment (1 Timothy 6:17). You need to look no further than Him. And, sister– you don’t have to strive for it. He freely blesses those who trust and rely on Him. You may not have everything you want, but rest assured, in Him, you have everything you need.

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#4: Live for Christ.

When you live a life that is in constant communication with the Lord, yielding to the Spirit’s promptings and work in your life, you’ll remain on the right path. Your mind will be focused on His plans and purposes for you, so much so that it’ll be as if you have spiritual blinders blocking your peripheral vision. You’ll be forward-focused, not allowing the world’s ways to infiltrate you from the side.

This is what I mean by you being a woman created on purpose. You know that you were not only created on purpose, but that your heart, soul, and mind are set on the purpose He has for you– and you are determined to walk in it.

#5: Take a break from social media…

…or remove it from your life altogether! Social media just shares the highlights of others’ lives– every day doesn’t look like that for them. You know this, yet it’s still easy to get caught up in comparing your worst to someone else’s best.

“A woman created on purpose has her heart, soul, and mind set on the purpose He has for her– and she is determined to walk in it.”

— -A Woman Created On Purpose

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, sister!

There’s no need to feel that you must be anything other than what God wants for you. There’s no “better path” than the one the Lord has for you. Allow Him to guide you. Trust in Him, not in your own understanding or perspective of the situation. Live life to glorify Him and Him alone. His way is enough.

Bible verses about comparison

Not only are there numerous Bible verses about comparison, but if we read closely, we’ll find the truth in why there just simply is no need to do so. The Lord has better things for us. He didn’t create each of us individually unique so that we could spend our time focused on why we’re better than her, or she’s better than us.

He created us differently because He is a creative God, and He wants us to see the many facets of who He is through all aspects of His creation.

Here are a few more verses about comparison, and I encourage you to comb the Scriptures for more truth about the dangers of comparing yourself to others.

But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting, but to himself alone, and not to another. For each one will bear his own load. -Galatians 6:4-5 NASB
For we do not presume to rank or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves; but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they have no understanding. -2 Corinthians 10:12 NASB
Do not judge, so that you will not be judged. -Matthew 7:1 NASB
Jesus said to him, “If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow Me!” -John 21:22 NASB