Dear Tired Mom,
Can we talk about why we are weary? I’ll go first:
Most days, I have a Martha complex. You know, Martha– sister of Mary and Lazarus, three of Jesus’s friends who we meet in the pages of Scripture. There are things to be done around the house and someone needs to do them, no matter the cost; no matter what may be more important. At least, that’s what I tell myself. As a stay-at-home mom of three children, my days are filled with laundry, wiping down the bathroom for the umpteenth time, sweeping, and picking up hot dogs and mac n’ cheese off of the floor. There is always something.to.do. Always.
I’m not just talking to those of you who are fellow stay-at-home moms. The first five years of motherhood, I worked full-time. Working outside of the house and then coming home to do all the things around the house didn’t exactly leave more time to get things done! You know what I’m talking about.
At the end of the day, my head hits the pillow hard. I’m a tired mom. I should be exhausted enough to just drift off to sleep in extreme haste. Yet, more often than not, I lay in the dark replaying the day in my head– every mistake, every opportunity missed with my kids, and everything I could have done differently.
You’d think that after checking off all the tasks on my to-do list, I’d feel accomplished. Instead, most nights, I argue with myself about whether or not I’ve failed my kids in some type of way.
Maybe if I’d just spent less time washing the dishes and more time playing with my kids…maybe if I didn’t care so much about the messes made…if I had only spent more time reading to them instead of picking up around the house…if only…if only…
Even though I know that 75% of the things I think aren’t even true or don’t hold a heavy weight of severity in terms of “what matters in the grand scheme of things,” my thoughts still leave me weary and downtrodden, asking the Lord to help me have a better day tomorrow.
Fellow mama– am I all alone here, or can you relate?
The Lord doesn’t want us to live this way. The best that He has for us looks nothing like my regular nights. He doesn’t want us to live out our days in regret, focusing on all the wrong things. Just as He did with Martha, He desires us to sit at His feet and choose the better things.
So, weary mama, TIRED MOM– this one’s for you (and me!).
WHEN YOU’RE A TIRED MOM
Dear Tired Mom,
Yes, I know you are tired. There are many noses to wipe, floors to clean, and meals to be had. I know, at the end of the day, you go to bed exhausted. And, perhaps even before the sun, you rise exhausted.
“Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.
”
Those “who are weary,” as Jesus says, are those who work to exhaustion or labor. The word “labor” means to take burdens upon yourself. Are you like me, mama? When I'm weary, my default mode is to get overwhelmed and frustrated, which is a burden I take upon myself.
But, please remember-- mothering, in and of itself, isn't a burden.
Yes, at times, it can soak up every ounce of energy you have, make you want to pull out your hair, and turn to gray what hair you do have left; but, it's not a burden. It is one of the greatest gifts and privileges bestowed upon you by your Lord. The burden of true weariness lies in your frustration.
Instead of becoming frustrated, purpose to change your default behavior to one that comes before Him.
yoke of Jesus vs. your yoke
Dear Tired Mom,
Would you really put on a winter coat to go outside on a 95-degree day? Please understand, this is what you are doing when you take your yoke upon yourself. Your yoke includes those frustrations, burdens, and weariness-- the very things that are heavy, weigh you down, and exhaust you.
But, Jesus instructs you to take His yoke-- the one that is easy and light. The one that doesn't contain the burdens you've placed upon yourself. Take off your yoke and put on His.
A TIRED MOM NEEDS A LOWLY Jesus
Dear Tired Mom,
I know you would agree with me that Jesus is a servant, and as His child, you are called to be like Him. Yes, you should remember that it’s a privilege to serve your family and have this servant’s heart. Yet, despite those facts, you are still not qualified to carry out those tasks on your own. Jesus regularly took things to the Father in prayer (he was literally praying right before He spoke these words!).
Striving to be more like Him, you too need to regularly take the pieces of your life before the Father. You see, it takes humility to release to someone else those things you think you can do on your own. However, it needs to be done. You do not have the strength or ability to be gentle in the midst of carrying your burdens. There’s a reason Jesus calls all who are weary in this passage. He knows we’ll encounter this in our lives. Give your burdens to the Lord. Then, and only then, will you have the strength to truly serve your family with a gentle and lowly attitude.
rest for your soul will come
Dear Tired Mom,
Rest. Can I get an amen?! That four-letter, beautiful word. Yes, this is a promise. Only when you release your burdens and put on His yoke, do you find rest. The more you toil, tarry, and flutter, the less rest you find.
What I’m about to say may sound like Captain Obvious, but you don’t find rest by doing, being, or accomplishing more. I know at times I tend to forget that. Please don't join me in that mistake. If you cannot find rest for your soul, that’s an indication that something is wrong. You’re doing too much on your own.
Yet, this isn't just physical rest-- this is spiritual rest. True peace only comes when you make Jesus Lord of your life. And, when He’s Lord of your life, you willingly hand everything over to Him, let Him direct your steps, and take every thought captive to Him.
It doesn't mean that your days will suddenly become easy and your struggles will go away. I promise you, there still will be food stuck to the walls, water on the floor because your daughter’s doll wanted to “go to the pool” (true story), and potty-training mishaps. Even so, you'll have His peace because His yoke is comfortable, easy, and light.
Why? Because He bears the weight and you are at His feet, in strong fellowship with Him.
So, take heart, Tired Mom; Weary Mama.
combat the weariness with all you need
Jesus truly is all we need. He is our rest, our comfort, our peace, and our guidance. He’s done so much for us already, but in our busy motherhood, we often don’t take the time to look back and remember. This FREE, 5-Day Devotional Study calls you to reflect on the past while simultaneously being aware of His provision in your life, right now. Fill out the form below.
a decision for the tired mom
Can I give you a bit more encouragement? Now that we’ve lamented a bit and worn our hearts on our sleeve, let’s get practical. We know how to get the rest for our souls that Jesus desires for us, but we have a choice to make. It’s the same choice the Israelites were once faced with.
Prior to the impending event of the Israelites being captured and taken to Babylon, the Prophet Jeremiah spoke these words:
“This is what the Lord says:
“Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths,
Where the good way is, and walk in it;
Then you will find a resting place for your souls.”
But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ ”
It was true for the Israelites of that time, yet, there is a lot of wisdom in it for us today. Ironically, the wisdom is this-- while there is in fact wisdom available and offered to us by God, we have the opportunity to either accept or reject it.
So, allow me to bring this encouragement to you:
dear tired mom: Stand by the way and see
First, the Lord invites you to stand in His ways. When you stand, you stop moving and stop fluttering. Then He calls you to see– take the time to look and ask. Ponder His Word. Remember and meditate on His ways, and the things He has done for you in the past. Remember what He’s brought you through– those sleepless nights when your now 8-year-old was an infant and would wake hour after hour. Those times when your child disobeyed you directly, to your face. The time when this same child flushed a toy down the toilet for the 3rd time in six weeks (another true story).
Remember the times that were tough on your patience and your resolve, that the Lord brought you through. Reflect on the “good ways” of the Lord and have a heart to want to walk in those ways now.
dear tired Mom: walk in his ways
Then, He tells you to “Walk in it.” As the verse states in its entirety– first, you need to stand, regroup, re-center, and get back on the right path. Then, and only then, should you start walking. Otherwise, it’s likely that you’ll be walking on the wrong path, in disobedience to Him. Walk His path– obeying Him and following the ways in which He instructs you.
dear tired mom: obedience = rest
You see, that rest for your soul comes when you’re obedient. It comes when you’ve cast your cares, burdens, and worries on Him, and when you’re walking His path. Not only His path for your life as a whole but also His path for you at that moment. Only then will you find rest. And yes, just as in Matthew 11:29, this is a promise.
dear tired mom": it’s your choice…
The Israelites chose not to follow and obey God. They rejected the right path. Jeremiah 6:16 ends with, “But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’”
Do you know that you’re capable of making this same choice? I know I’m guilty of it in the heat of the moment– when things are hard, no one is listening, and the kids are bickering. During those moments when I choose to become frustrated as opposed to taking my thoughts, feelings, and motherly anger to God, I’m saying, “I will not walk in it.” By not taking the yoke of Jesus, you are saying, “I will not walk in it.”
Sister, weary, tired mom— understand that when you choose to not walk in the way He provides for us, you are ultimately rejecting the promise of rest. This answers the question, Why am I weary?
dear tired mom: accept his promise.
Please join me in accepting this promise. I have a feeling we won’t regret it. That means we have to lay down our want to finish our to-do lists; our need to have the best-looking house or Instagram-worthy craft-making time; and our desire to raise the most perfect, godly children. Jesus didn’t offer to help Martha around the house so she could serve harder and expend more energy, creating the perfect experience for her guests. Jesus gently reminded her that her sister, Mary, chose to do what was important at that moment. In a way, I believe He was telling Martha to take His yoke upon her, right then and there. I also believe that most days, He whispers the same to us.
Rest for our souls begins with laying down our burdens and sitting at His feet.
So, come on. I saved a spot for you.
Won’t you join me?
