In our household, lying is a serious offense. Small lies, big lies, it doesn’t matter. We don’t fabricate tales. We don’t cheat while playing board games. We don’t tell only half of the story, while purposely leaving certain details out.
When we’re playing games with our kids, whether board games or active sports, if someone cheats to gain an advantage or win, that person is immediately disqualified (or the game piece is kicked off the board!). It’s easy to say, “It’s just a game”, or “Oh, he’s only 6 years old, he’ll grow out of it.” But, that’s not helpful. That’s dangerous. With three kids 8 years old and under, we know by now that habits are formed at an early age, and one of the easiest habits to take hold of your heart and your life is lying.
The more you lie, the easier it is to lie. Little by little, it becomes your default. When you’re not sure what to say. When you’re not sure how someone may take the news. When you’re not sure what to do. A flat-out lie, or perhaps, the truth sprinkled with a little lie, becomes your default.
As a Christian, is it ever ok to lie?
In today’s world, there is a lot of conflicting talk about truth, lies, and honesty. What is honesty? What’s a lie? What’s wrong with a white lie? Is a lie ok as long as it was told to protect someone, something, or so you don’t hurt someone’s feelings?
There’s plenty of narrative going on about the right and wrong answers to these questions.
But who are you listening to– the world, or the Word?
Whether or not you are honest plays a huge role in your integrity and your character, and your character and integrity are the hallmarks of your life. We’ll get to that later. But first, let’s take a look at what the Bible says about lying.
What Does the Bible Say About Lying?
The Bible says several very important things about lying. Let’s take a look.
GOD HATES LIES
For one thing, we know that Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that God hates lies.
“These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that are swift in running to evil,
A false witness who speaks lies,
And one who sows discord among brethren. ”
I figure that if at least two of the seven things the Lord hates have to do with lying, it’s pretty safe to say you probably shouldn’t be doing it.
THE LORD IS TRUTH
Not only does the Lord hate lying, but more importantly, He is Truth. (John 14:6). Part of His character— who He is— is truth. He literally is Truth. As His followers, His children, we are to desire to live in a way that not only glorifies Him but also points others in His direction. The fruit you bear should demonstrate that He is in you and working in you. Therefore, if He is truth, and He is in you, then what comes out of you should also be truth. In other words, the apple shouldn’t fall far from the tree.
THE TRUTH WILL ALWAYS COME OUT
The truth will always be found out. You may deceive others for a time, but the Lord knows your heart and knows the truth. Jeremiah 28:15-17 talks about how Hananiah, who was a false prophet, made the Israelites believe a lie. The Lord didn’t allow this to manifest, but instead revealed the truth to Jeremiah, who confronted Hananiah and he was therefore condemned.
YOU SHOULD STAND FOR TRUTH
God calls you to stand for His truth and go against popular thought. Various times in the book of Ezekiel, God calls him to speak out against the various lies and claims others were speaking to the people. If popular thought goes against His Word, it’s up to His believers to go against popular thought.
THE TRUTH ABOUT LYING
Lying is a sin (Exodus 20:16). The more you lie, the less you trust others, including the Lord, because you’ve conditioned your mind to be in a constant state of falsehood. The truth becomes blurred and everything is suspect.
Will you listen to the world or the Word?
How To Stop Lying: 5 Biblical tips
So, if you have a habit of lying, what’s the solution? I think the answer is (generally) the same as it is for many things you may struggle with in this life.
Previously, I referenced the list of the seven things the Lord hates, as seen in Proverbs chapter 6. But, if you continue reading, immediately after the Lord tells you what He hates, He gives you a few instructions:
“My son, keep your father’s command,
And do not forsake the law of your mother.
Bind them continually upon your heart;
Tie them around your neck.
When you roam, they will lead you;
When you sleep, they will keep you;
And when you awake, they will speak with you.
For the commandment is a lamp,
And the law a light;
Reproofs of instruction are the way of life... ”
So, how can you stop lying if it’s become a habit? Based on this Proverb, here are 5 practical and prayerful tips:
#1: Know you can’t do it on your own.
You can’t possibly expect to overcome the sin of lying on your own. James tells us how powerful our tongue is, like a small rudder that can control a large ship. You can’t just wake up one day and say, “I’m going to stop lying.” Well, you can say that, but that’s not something you’ll be able to live out day by day, long term, in your own strength. It starts with acknowledging this truth.
#2: Let the Holy Spirit guide you.
You need the help of the Holy Spirit. Surrender to Him. Through Him, you have the power to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Since we know our words begin as thoughts, this is an important part of the process we can’t forsake. Hand your thoughts over to Him so He can help you think on good things (Philippians 4:8). Allow Him to convict you of right and wrong, truth and error— and let His peace guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).
#3: Hold fast to the Word.
The Lord urges you to keep His Word. Know it. Bind it continually on your heart and tie it around your neck. Memorize Scripture so it’s permanently impressed in your mind and on your heart,
SO THAT, it prompts every action you take;
SO THAT, when you roam-- that is, when you go about your life doing all the daily things-- it will lead you;
SO THAT, even when you sleep, you know you are safe, protected, and kept by the Lord;
SO THAT, when you are awake, making decisions, or going through a situation, the Word will be active and fresh in your mind-- speaking with you, and telling you what is right, true, and good.
#4: Ask the Lord to search your heart.
Not only do you need to hang tight to the Word and impress it upon your heart, but it’s also imperative that you purge any other impurities from your thoughts and heart. The trick is, however, that many times you don’t even realize they’re there. This is why, like David, it’s important to ask the Lord to search your heart and see if there is any wicked way within you (Psalm 139:23-24). Give the Word a clean slate on which to write.
#5: Ask the Lord for Help.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, Lord, my rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)
This is a biggie. Being in constant communication with the Lord throughout the day is the only way to tame your tongue. This goes back to point #1 (Know you can’t do it on your own). Before you speak— no– before you think a thought, ask the Lord to help you only think and say those things that would glorify Him.
God and His Word are always the solutions.
The Importance of Integrity in Your Life
I hear honesty and integrity hashed around together as if they’re one and the same. Although they’re similar and pair well together, I like to think that honesty is the main staple of integrity; meaning, without honesty, you can’t have integrity.
Merriam-Webster defines integrity as “firm adherence to a code of especially moral values; the quality of being honest and fair; the state of being complete, whole or undivided.”
If integrity is the state of being whole and undivided, then let’s think of it as not being divided between flesh and spirit in your decision-making. You cannot choose both. You cannot walk in the flesh and in the Spirit at the same time.
When you choose to have integrity in a moment, you are choosing undivided loyalty in serving the Lord, wholly walking in the Spirit in accordance with His Word.
Please note: Integrity isn’t something you choose once, and then you always have it. It is a day-by-day, moment-by-moment decision. It’s a choice you make in every action you take.
As with honesty, the world has a lot to tell you about integrity. Thankfully, so does the Word.
The Lord takes seriously your actions and integrity, or lack thereof. Job 2:3 talks about how the Lord saw that Job was incredibly blameless and upright. He saw his integrity and the Lord knew that even up against the worst darts from Satan, Job would not fold.
You are to be the light of the world (Matthew 5:14-16).
If your light is to shine before men so they see your good works and glorify Him, you’d better be walking in integrity! A lack of integrity can automatically weaken your testimony.
If you read Daniel 1:3-21, you’ll see how Daniel and his three friends held fast to their integrity, refusing to take part in something commanded of them by an earthly king because it went against what was commanded of them by the King of kings. They could have easily gone with the crowd. Daniel was respectful in his plea to go against the king’s wishes; nevertheless, he was firm. He trusted that the Lord would bless them for remaining faithful. And the Lord did.
The cost of losing your integrity is always greater than whatever it costs to keep it.
What Is More Important: Character or Reputation?
So we’ve talked about honesty and integrity. Putting it all together, I’d say there is a link or progression that looks like this:
live according to the Word + honesty = develop integrity
When you choose to live according to the Word and be honest, you begin to develop integrity (an adherence to walking in the Spirit on a regular basis). Over time, integrity becomes a part of your character.
then… your integrity becomes part of your character.
Character is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. Your character is who you are, truly in the deepest depths of your soul. Your actions are a reflection or mirror of your character. Your character is who you truly are and encompasses your honesty and integrity before the Lord or lack thereof.
Your reputation is who other people think you are, and simply encompasses what others think of you, based on your actions and words. Reputation is based on opinion. In short, your reputation isn’t even part of the equation.
should you be more concerned with your reputation or character?
The world is full of Facebookers, Instagrammers, and Snapchatters striving to build up their reputation. I’m not saying any of these social media outlets are bad, but you need to check yourself— are you consumed with gaining more and more followers, or are you focused on the One you are to be following?
If you’re seeking Jesus, you have to remember that He is not going to pop up in your list of followers. He doesn’t “follow” you. He calls you to follow Him.
does your reputation match your character?
Your reputation can either line up with your character or not. If you’re living falsely and putting on fronts, your reputation is not truly reflecting who you are. This is so easy to do in all areas of life, but especially in a social media world. There are enough filters to go around to make you appear how you want to be seen by others.
Keep in mind that once you lose your reputation, it’s very hard to get back. This is a great thing if your reputation was of the negative persuasion, and then, as you are continually changed by Christ, others begin to see you differently. Those negative, old ways are left behind.
You look a little more like Him. Your character reflects someone who is living according to the Word and the Lord’s will for your life, and little by little, your reputation starts to line up with that. This is an awesome thing. As a Christian, it’s important to have the character of a woman who is pursuing righteousness.
Obviously, losing your reputation is not so great if it was once viewed as good and decent, and now is moving in the other direction.
the bottom line
It’s ok to be aware of our reputation, in terms of being sure you are doing your best to glorify God in your words, actions, and your conduct before others. However, if you’re so consumed with thinking about your reputation because you feel you have to be “fake” in order to keep up with appearances, then your main focus should be on developing a godly character. Allow the Lord to work in you, and eventually, your good reputation will prove itself.
As a woman of God, although you sometimes want to focus more on what the people right in front of you think, it’s more important to be aware of who you are before the Lord. Does your character reflect that of Christ or at least one that is progressively moving in that direction? If so, then your reputation will eventually catch up.
So, to answer the initial question:
“Is it ever ok for a Christian to lie?”
No. Do not be deceived in listening to what the world may tell you. According to what the Word says, the answer is: No. Lying creates a lifestyle that is contrary to the Lord's character and His intentions for us, and it weakens our integrity and taints our character.
There will always be times when you’re tempted. There will be times when it seems like the right thing to do, and when there seems to be no other foreseeable option.
Although you read some instances in Scripture where people lied and the outcome was favorable, lying is never something you see the Lord condone or praise in the Word. He is Truth, and as His follower, He wants you to pursue Him and all that He is so that you can become more and more like Him.
cancel out the noise
So, sister— hold fast to your honesty and integrity before the Lord. When the world tries to tell you how to live, pop on those noise-canceling headphones and drown it out. Purpose to only listen to what the Word says.
Quit following others. Instead, follow Him— and, thanks to the blood of Jesus and the Lord seeing us as righteous, I promise He’ll hit the “Like” button on your life every time.
