No one was meant to live alone on an island. We all need a community– not just a group of people to belong to, but the sense that we belong. In a community, we have commonalities, similar thought processes, and interests. Or quite honestly, we have many differences, but the bond of love that is created still enables us to function as a whole and enjoy each other’s company.
The people who get you. Those who understand your point of view, even if they don’t agree with you 100% of the time. Those who are aware of your quirks and love you anyway. Those who hold your hand, either when you’re crying, or to pull you along to go grab some coffee.
The ones you can tell your deepest fears, heartaches, joys, and dreams. They rejoice in the Lord with you and hold you accountable when you falter.
Can you picture a few faces in your head? I bet you can.
What is a Community?
The community we are talking about today isn’t the hub or town where you live. I’m referring to that sense of community for which our souls long.
The definition of community is a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.
As believers– no matter our backgrounds, ethnicities, or favorite movie genres– we can come alongside one another and seamlessly bond together. No matter how great our differences, we have one commonality that is greater than the sum of them:
The Holy Spirit.
“Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, being diligent to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you also were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all. ”
The Spirit lives within us. And sister, He yields a unity between us like no other. This unity is the feeling you get when you meet a random stranger who you learn is a believer, and within several minutes of chatting, you feel like you’ve known her for years.
The Spirit provides the atmosphere for a community to flourish because God is over all and through all and in all.
How to Build a Community
Once we focus on the fact that the Spirit is already working in us, through us, and creating that perfect unity, understanding how to build a community seems a little less daunting.
Here’s what I mean.
Let me encourage you with a few things I’ve seen in my own life that have been beneficial in building a community:
Live a godly lifestyle.
It starts with seeking the Lord and pursuing righteousness. You make time for God, grow in your walk, and live out the Word. You live for the glory of God alone.
Fellowship regularly.
Don’t hide, sister! You can’t build a community if no one ever sees you. You may feel more comfortable being alone, but again, the Lord desires that you fellowship with others, build each other up (Romans 14:9), and bless one another (Acts 4:32). Go to church. Serve. Attend Bible study and special events. Go to that girl’s night out. Get to know each other!
Create godly friendships.
A godly friendship begins when you first seek the Lord and live a godly lifestyle, and you link up with others who do the same. When Christ is at the center of a relationship, amazing things happen. He gives you a heart that is loyal to one another and seeks to bring Him glory in your association.
Be the person who connects people.
Once you get to know others, be the person who is mindful of ways you can connect friend to friend. Do you have two friends with kids who are similar ages? Or they’re both in the thick of potty training? Or maybe they’re avid runners? Introduce them. Be the person who aids the spark of new friendships.
Just relax.
All of that can sound like a little much, right (especially if you tend to be introverted!)? Starting new relationships and growing them can be a lot of work. Well worth it, but it takes time, effort, and patience.
But God. That other person is His creation just like you are. He desires for her to walk worthy of her calling, to use her spiritual gifts for His glory, and to have fellowship with other believers.
These are the things He desires for you too. So if this is true, then understand that He will orchestrate the many facets, guide you, and help you make it all happen.
Creating Community Among Sisters
So we’ve talked about how to build a community, or how to establish it. But, once you have an established community, how do you begin to create a sense of community in the group? What components make for that rich fellowship that manifests itself within the group?
Let’s look to Philippians 2.
“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord, and of one mind.”
These verses speak of unity. If Christ is at the center of your group, then, and only then, can there be a bond of unity through Him.
The Apostle Paul says that when we operate as a community in Christ, we have the ability to be of the same mind, acting in Christ’s love, and unified under the same banner.
Why? Because we are unified through Christ– not our likes, dislikes, and commonalities. Through Christ.
In Him, we have encouragement, comfort in His love, fellowship in the Spirit, and the ability to show affection and mercy. The Spirit works through us and in our midst to bring about that deep sense of relational community between us.
And it goes on,
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Therefore, as we fellowship in the Spirit and He directs the bonds we are creating, He helps us see each other through His eyes. But more importantly, He allows us to see ourselves through His eyes. And in doing so, we are led to look out for the welfare of others.
In creating a God-honoring community, we are not selfish.
We don’t seek friendships only for personal gain.
We remain humble.
We look into and out for the interests of others.
Sister, the process of moving from how to build a community to establishing and creating a sense of community is one of first seeking the Lord so you can learn to be a godly friend. From there, as you allow the Spirit to work in you and within your community, He gives you the heart attitude necessary to create a culture of humility and selflessness, operating in one mind to glorify Him.
Are you growing or dying?
Creating community among sisters is a process, friend. First, you build it; then, you establish a sense of community within the group. Thankfully we have the Lord to help us along the way!
But, don’t tune out yet. We have one more piece of the puzzle.
There is a saying that speaks to the idea that nothing is ever just “stays the same” (except the Lord, of course! He never changes). Everything is either growing or dying.
Meaning, our default mode isn’t one where we remain constant, smooth sailing on cruise control. Despite what many think, we can’t establish our faith, then just let it go, expecting it to maintain itself.
No— we are either growing in the Lord or our faith flame is flickering out.
There needs to be a consistent effort on our part to seek the Lord and be diligent to grow in Him. He’s always there, but we decide to come to Him.
Stagnation equals death— in our relationships, our walk with the Lord, and within our community.
So, creating community isn’t enough. From there, we must make efforts to cultivate it.
Walking out God’s Word is one of the most surefire ways to let your light shine, encourage others, and serve those in your midst. All of these things go hand in hand with creating community. Study Romans 12 and meditate on the ways God’s Word instructs us to live in a way that brings God glory. Fill out the form below to download your free guide!
Cultivating Your Community
The definition of cultivate is to foster the growth of something. One of the most beautiful models we have for this is seen within the first church:
“And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. ”
There is something that sounds so delightful about that, isn’t there? I truly believe that this is such a good model in which our churches can still operate today.
But sister, not just our churches— our small groups, our pockets of ministry, and the community were building among friends.
Being devoted to studying the Word.
Being devoted to fellowship and prayer with one another.
Being together as believers.
Having all things in common— the unity that only Christ provides.
Committing to being present with others not only in church but also in the hospitality we can show within our homes.
Having a grateful attitude— counting it as a blessing to not only receive but also to give generously to our sisters.
Because the fact of the matter is, we ARE the Church. Therefore, this isn’t only a good model for the church we attend— this is also a good model for us as individuals; it’s a model for creating community with our friendships.
Sister, this is how we cultivate our community. Being mindful of the Lord’s will for our community, we allow Him to light the flame, and then, with His direction, we fan it these ways.
Not only do these components draw us closer to the Lord and each other, but they also yield blessings:
Unification. Needs are filled. We have favor with people. Our community grows as the Lord directs it to grow.
When we create community and step aside and let the Lord cultivate it and foster its growth, it will flourish beyond what we can imagine.
What is a community without the Lord?
Nothing. No matter what you do, how many steps you take, or all of the effort you make in building friendships, you’ll never know how to build a community if you don’t put Christ at the center. All of your efforts will be in vain.
But here’s what I know, sister. You are loved and cherished by God. He wants your life to bring Him glory as you walk out His purposes for you. He wants you to play your part in strengthening other believers because you are valuable.
You were created on purpose. There is no one like you. This means that no one can have another friend exactly like you. If you stay in the dark, hide, and dodge the building of friendships and community, there will be sisters missing out on something influential, special, and unique in their lives.
The relationship they can have with you.
Sister, allow the Lord to use you as He sees fit in the lives of others. Trust Him as He guides and directs your steps in building community for His glory.
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