I have a feeling you’ll be able to relate to some of this, sister…
When we were kids, we couldn’t wait to be teenagers. As teenagers, we couldn’t wait to drive, and then one day become adults. Maybe if you’re currently single, you desire to be married. Or perhaps you’re waiting to have kids. One day, you’ll be waiting for those kids to have kids so you can become a grandparent!
Or, more solemnly, perhaps it’s your prodigal child who’s turned his heart from the Lord, that you’re prayerfully waiting to return. Possibly, you’re waiting for the test results to come back so the doctor can determine an official diagnosis. Or, you’re waiting for a breakthrough in the difficulties enveloping your marriage.
Waiting is seldom easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult. But, it’s always possible– it truly is. I know it doesn’t feel that way at the moment, but let’s take our feelings off of the table for the time being, shall we? As women, we often focus too much on how we feel in a particular situation, and allow those emotions to determine how we navigate the waters. This is true for so many areas of our lives, but particularly true when we’re waiting; when we’re doing our best to be patient.
As a Christian, patience is a key character trait in our faith. Our goal should be to patiently endure as Christ did. We are called to be patient with others, patient with the Lord as we wait on Him, and to let patience have its perfect work within us (James 1:4). We have the Holy Spirit in us, guiding and directing our steps– but we must be still and listen. We can have patience as we allow Him to work in us in the hard times– the times of waiting for days, weeks, or even years. We can choose to fret or to wait patiently for the God who is sovereign over our lives (Psalm 37:7).
What is patience?
Cambridge Dictionary defines patience as “the ability to wait, or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed.”
Often, in various translations of the Bible, patience is called “longsuffering”. It’s the idea of being able to suffer long; however, not just for a long time, but to also suffer well. Patience is the opposite of quick anger and loss of control. There is a strength that we exude when we operate in patience, and on the contrary, a weakness when we react impatiently.
If you’ve been following our Godly Woman Wardrobe series, you know that patience (or longsuffering) is the 5th character trait we are to put on according to Colossians 3:12-14.
“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. ”
We can be patient and endure because of the hope we have in Christ (1 Thessalonians 1:3). Patience is a flex of our endurance muscle, giving us the ability to wait on the Lord’s timing, trust in the Lord’s goodness, and believe the outcome of our trials will be for our good and His glory. Endurance takes faith—not passivity— to work. In faith, we can be still and allow God to be God in our lives.
And of course, sister, what is patience if not one of the beautiful pieces of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). Through the sanctification process, as the Spirit is at work in our lives changing us to be more and more like Christ, we ever increasingly live and breathe the character of God. In obedience to the Holy Spirit and His promptings, we can then exhibit patience, even in the toughest moments and circumstances.
How to be patient
In terms of discovering how to be patient, keep in mind that, like any other aspect of our faith, patience isn’t a one-size-fits-all character trait. God will provide different situations in the lives of each of us to help us grow in patience. What circumstances that cause me to learn how to have more patience may look drastically different than the situations that cause you to flex your endurance. Let us not compare; instead, let us be mindful of the things of God: His personalized, customized working of sanctification in us, and walk worthy of the particular calling He has set before us.
As we look at these five, general ways to slow down, take a step back, and be mindful of our growth in patience, we can do so knowing that the Lord will give each of us the strength and endurance due to us so that we can glorify Him in the process.
Please note: There are so many ways to learn how to be patient. You could likely come up with your own list of five! I encourage you to comb through the Scriptures and discover all of the Bible verses about patience. To get you started, here are a few things the Lord has laid on my heart.
#1: Wait on the Lord.
Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord! -Psalm 27:14 NKJV
Not long after becoming a stay-at-home mom, I felt the Lord telling us it was time to have a 3rd child. After getting pregnant fairly quickly, I had a miscarriage. If you’ve ever experienced a miscarriage, or know someone who has, you know how difficult it is. For me, the next part of the equation was very trying as well– waiting to get pregnant again. This had never been something I struggled with before (and I know many who have, so believe me, I do not take this for granted and am very thankful), so it became a very confusing time for me. I began wondering if my body was still working correctly and why it would take so long when I knew it was the Lord who had placed the desire on my heart to have another child. Why was He withholding?
I had so many questions throughout the year that it took me to conceive again, and I truly had to dig deep to walk out the words of this verse. To be of good courage; to wait; to allow Him to strengthen my heart– these were all things I could not do on my own. When my fleshly thoughts wanted to take over, I had to remember that His words do not return void and He is the Ultimate Promisekeeper. Recalling the truth of His character helped me to endure in hope during that time. And, while I waited, He reminded me that He is my portion, and all I need (Lamentations 3:24).
#2: Be patient in affliction.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. — Romans 12:12 ESV
Did you know you have something in common with Moses, Abraham, Job, Paul (and many others in the Bible)? It’s easily summed up in one word: TRIALS! Trials and storms will come in this life; there is no question about it (John 16:33). In my opinion, knowing this truth reminds me that there is no use trying to avoid tough times and tribulations– they’ll find us anyway!
God, being the gracious, loving, and sovereign Father He is, gives us the strength we need to be patient and stand firm, even in affliction. Amid our tribulations, we can fix our eyes on the Lord, trusting Him to take care of all we need as He leads us through. Patience in affliction comes via trust in Him, prayer, and steadfastness to keep His Word.
#3: Be patient in relationships.
Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. — 1 Thessalonians 5:14 NKJV
Whether our spouse, kids, co-workers, or brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to be patient with all. And, if you weren’t sure, all means all. :) That includes those who are unruly– a little stubborn in their opinions or perhaps even argumentative. We’re told we should, as the Thessalonians we also instructed, warn or admonish them firmly and gently– in a way that still is loving. We sprinkle our words with grace and truth, and honor Christ in the way we respond, react, and instruct.
What about comforting the fainthearted– those who, as it means in the original Greek, are “little spirited” or “feebleminded.” We can easily lose our patience with friends or family who don’t get it; or those fellow Christians who may have weaker confidence in the things of the Lord. Yet this is where we’re called to walk slowly; take a seat, and encourage. Drop back to their pace and run alongside them, helping them grow and come to understand the things you hope in on a deeper level.
RELATED: How to Encourage One Another Like Barnabas
And then, as the verse above also states, we’re to uphold the weak. Whether physically, mentally, or perhaps weaker and less firm in their faith– as the Lord upholds us, we’re in turn to do the same for others. There’s no good reason to expect too much from them– give them grace and time to seek the Lord for themselves as well. We can show Christ’s love as we care for, hold fast to, or support those who are more feeble.
Being “patient with all” writes the story not only of how we treat those who need our support, but also of how we respond to others when we’re the ones who are not encouraged, upheld, and comforted, but instead, slandered or insulted. Patience can be tasted on our tongue as we give a soft answer instead of wrath (Proverbs 15:1); felt in our mind as we think before we speak (Proverbs 15:28); or perhaps palpable in our being as we’re slow to anger (Proverbs 14:29).
25 Pro Tips for Patience in Relationships
How to be patient…when you’re tired, you don’t feel like it, or when it’s hard. These are all things we face as we navigate our relationships with others. You’re not alone, sister and the Bible offers us so much wisdom on this topic! Here’s a FREE guide with 25 simple, yet in-depth tips based on Romans 12. Fill out the form below.
#4: Show patience in serving.
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith. -Galatians 6:9-10 NKJV
Things may not always shape up in the way we expect them to, especially when it comes to serving others, but we can trust the Lord that if we are surely operating inside of His will, our serving will not be in vain. Therefore, no matter what it looks like, we focus on the “doing good” and not the “weary”. This proper focus allows our gaze to be fixed on the truth that there is always a season coming, whereas what the Lord purposes for us will be reaped.
It can be hard. It can be tiring. It can stretch our patience. But, our serving others, especially those who are of the household of faith, is never in vain, sister. The Lord desires to use us to do particular works that He ordained for us before the foundation of the world, and our job is to simply, trust, obey, and walk patiently in them. Our strength comes from the Lord, so when those thoughts of weariness come, as long as we’re doing what He’s called us to do, we can wait well for our due season, honoring Him along the way as we take the opportunities He’s given us to do good to all. (Don’t forget, all means all!).
#5: Slow down and learn patience from the Best.
The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. — Psalm 103:8 NASB
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not willing for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance. — 2 Peter 3:9 NASB
The beautiful thing about patience (and all other godly characteristics) is that we don’t have to pull it out of thin air and fabricate it ourselves. Patience, just like the rest of the Godly Woman Wardrobe, comes from the Lord! God is love, and love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4). In His greatest act of love He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins so that through Jesus, we could be reconciled back to God. And in His great patience, He desires all to come to repentance, not wanting anyone to perish. As we wade the waters of relationships, trials, and service, we need to look no further than our Great Example.
We can wait faithfully for His timing because He is always faithful.
We can be still and patiently listen for Him because His still small voice is always there when we seek Him.
We can trust in His promises because He is not slack to keep them.
We can wait patiently for the Lord because His sovereign timing is always precise.
What is patience, if the Lord isn’t in it?
Sister, let me now encourage, uphold, and comfort you! Let us no longer question or wonder ‘how to be patient’. We keep our eyes focused on the Lord, remembering that patience isn’t just a “thing” to be possessed. In other words, we’re not to just have patience. None of the fruit of the Spirit and any other godly characteristic is something to simply have or hold onto. We must walk it out; use it. We show patience in our behaviors, our actions, our words, and responses, as the Lord does in our lives. What He does in us and through us, and more importantly, what we have in Him is enough.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “Therefore I have hope in Him.” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him. -Lamentations 3:24-25 NASB
What about you? Do you struggle with patience or does having patience come easily to you? Comment below and let me know!
Missed the intro to the Godly Woman Wardrobe? Find out what Christian women should wear, here.
Waiting is seldom easy. In fact, it can be downright difficult. But, it’s always possible. I know it doesn’t feel that way at the moment, but let’s take our feelings…