Where do you spend most of your time? What do you think about more than anything? In what do you find your identity? This is where your heart lies.

We live in a world full of “I’s.” A world where “self” is king. It’s all about “me”, what “I” can do, how “I” feel, and how this affects “me”.

Without even being fully aware of it, we have grown to make idols of ourselves– and if not ourselves, then of something else we hold near and dear.

The reason it has gotten to this point, I believe, is because the world tells us it’s okay. And, we have come to believe the world’s lies.

There are many lies floating around out there, and whereas this is not an exhaustive list, there is a lot to be said. Therefore, this article will be split into 2 parts!

Before we dig into the lies of Part 1, let’s talk about idolatry.

What is an idol?

Merriam-Webster defines an idol as an object of extreme devotion or a representation or symbol of an object of worship. In our culture today we’ve grown so accustomed to calling things “idols” and thinking nothing of it: tv shows with that title, celebrities are idolized, and people who we think of as our heroes are now referred to as someone we idolize. Not to mention, with the popularity of social media, it’s not hard to find someone with the “perfect” life inviting you to follow and idolize them in a matter of a few clicks.

This cultural mindset has dulled our senses and blinded our eyes to the real danger of idols.

Idolizing a person isn’t just a cute way of saying you admire them. It’s not the ultimate form of flattery towards someone. It’s putting whomever or whatever we’re idolizing in a place in our hearts above and beyond the One who belongs there.

What does the Bible say about idolatry?

Most of us are familiar with the Ten Commandments, of course, and the fact that in the first commandment God says that we are to have no other gods before Him. He instructs us not to construct objects into idols that we could worship or serve. Why? Because He says he is a jealous God (Exodus 20:3-5), and He wants our full devotion.

God wants no one and nothing in the place of Him in our hearts.

There are multiple places in the Bible where we can clearly see God command His followers against making idols for themselves or turning to idols. But, it doesn’t just stop there. Several times, immediately after forbidding us to make idols, He concludes with the truth, “for I am the Lord your God” (Leviticus 19:4; 26:1).

The Lord wants us to remember that He is our God– the idol is not.

His commands hold true because He is our God. His promises hold true in our lives because He is our God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth.

“For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the Lord made the heavens.”

— Psalm 96:5 NASB

Modern-Day Idols: How to understand the lies

To truly understand the impact these lies are subconsciously having on each of us, we have to shift our mindset from a narrow, singular thought that idols are mainly carved images, statues, or household objects. Most of us don’t have issues with carving images that we purposely set out to worship, yet when we hear the word idol, we immediately picture an object sitting on a shelf.

No, the idols of our culture today run much more inconspicuously. They’re quite stealthy. They sneak into our lives ever so quietly and slowly, without us even being aware of them. They steal our affection and attention in silent ways. And, before we know it, they’ve stolen the place of the Lord in our hearts.

Being aware of the battle between what the world tells us and what the Word says will help us understand the error of these lies and what the Lord wants us to know instead.

Lie #1: You are number one.

The world will tell you that you, yourself, and I are number one. Look out for number one, take care of yourself, and you matter the most are all phrases that permeate our culture.

The world sings a song of putting yourself above everyone else, and this makes us gods of ourselves.

We see this mindset in work environments, schools, and social media. Having the drive to win and succeed is fine, but not at the expense of someone else. From middle and high school bullying all the way to mom-shaming, seeing yourself and your ways as above others is the spark that ignites these negative behaviors.

Yet, if we look at the first eight verses of Philippians 2, we see that we’re to do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, and we’re to be humble, counting others as more significant than ourselves (Philippians 2:3).

This doesn’t mean that we should never take care of ourselves. This isn’t a black and white situation, as sometimes it is twisted to be. Meaning, we shouldn’t have the mindset that if we take time to do something for ourselves, we are being irresponsible because we could be doing something for someone else.

As Philippians 2:4 says, Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. There is a balance. Serving others is important and is what we’re called to do as believers, but it’s also ok to attend to our own needs.

The key is to remember that the Lord is number one. Once that is your perspective, things will more easily fall into their proper place.

Lie #2: OUR lives should revolve around OUR kids’ interests and activities.

I know we love our kids. I know our whole life perspective changed once we became parents. But, did you know that our children can easily become idols?

In our western culture, there is always the opportunity to see what everyone else’s kids are doing. Although this isn’t true for every neighborhood— in many places, there’s no end to the number of activities, sports, and clubs for our children to get involved in. If we don’t have access to the opportunity, we can check out our social media feed and easily see other children engaging in it.

This can lead to the comparison game, and comparison leads to the mindset that we need to do anything and everything we can to give our children a plethora of opportunities every year— just like “everyone” else.

Yes, it’s ok for them to be involved. I believe we should encourage it. Yet, we can get to a point where, in the pursuit of raising the perfect children who’ve never lacked a thing, we rearrange our entire lives to accommodate them.

What we build our lives around tends to earn first place in our hearts.

“Above all, let’s be sure we prioritize training up our children and helping them grow in the Lord.”

— A Woman Created On Purpose

I’m not saying that it’s wrong to have a schedule where our children are on amazing traveling teams or going to statewide competitions. Growing up, I was a competitive gymnast— I get it.

But, I do think we need to be intentional in what we allow to shape their lives.

Let’s make sure we have the time and resources to train up our children (Proverbs 22:6) and teach them the ways of the Lord, first and foremost. Having a packed schedule that keeps our children out of our homes (and oftentimes, away from us) many nights a week can easily lead to limited time to grow in the Lord as a family.

Lie #3: Work/producing an income is the most important thing.

Work is something that is honored in the Bible. God gave Adam the job of working and tending to the land in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:15), many men in the Old Testament were shepherds, Paul was a tentmaker, and many of Jesus’s disciples were fishermen.

Not only this, but there are numerous Proverbs that speak of the importance of working, providing for your family, and not being idle (Proverbs 10:4; 21:25; 12:11).

The Lord values work and He has given us the capacity to do so.

But, we can easily place our job and careers at the forefront of our lives. When we get to the point where work always comes first— over our spouse, children, and ministries the Lord has called us to— that is when we need to shift our mindset. As important as it is to provide for our family, especially if you are a single mom, we need to remember that ultimately God is our Provider and He will supply us with all that we need.

The key is staying close to Him and listening to His promptings. If we ask Him, He will let us know if and when we need to back off a bit, how we need to prioritize our schedule, and how to create a work and family balance that glorifies Him.

Our job is a means to an end. It is not eternal. Yes, we can be a witness to those in our workplace, but we need to be faithful to all of the areas of our lives that the Lord has called us to, not just the one that produces income.

Lie #4: Your husband’s role is to be your “everything.”

In today’s world, we are inundated with fairy tales, reality shows, and Hallmark movies depicting what a perfect husband looks like. He always says the right things, constantly saves the day, and repeatedly sweeps his wife off of her feet. The “perfect” husband is seen as the one who does everything right, without fail.

So, when a married woman’s man doesn’t measure up to all of these thoughts and images in her head, she’s told it’s ok to trade him in for a new one. Unfortunately, this is the culture we live in, and one of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high.

But, what we’re told is a “perfect” husband is not reality.

Take a look at what the Bible says about marriage, specifically in regards to husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25 NASB).
So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28 NASB).
Husbands, love your wives and do not become bitter against them (Colossians 3:19 NASB).

This is by no means an extensive list of what the Lord tells us about marriage; however, the main point we see here is that husbands are commanded to love their wives, as Christ loved the church.

what the bible doesn’t say

It doesn’t say that husbands are to be perfect, attending to our every need, while riding on a white horse. It doesn’t say that we are to only respect and submit to our husband (1 Peter 3:1-2; Ephesians 5:22) when he’s earned it by his good deeds towards us. It doesn’t say that his sole purpose in life is to make his wife happy.

When we have the mindset that our husband is to be our everything, he has become our idol. We look to him for satisfaction, pleasure, happiness, and to rescue us from all things.

what the bible does say

What the Bible does make clear in 1 Peter and Ephesians 5 is that wives are to respect and submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. It says that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.

Both husbands and wives are to look to Jesus to be their everything– not each other. Christ is the only One who is capable and able to be our all in all.

Lie #5: You’re strong enough to do it on your own. You don’t need anybody.

This lie almost ties in with Lie #1. When we’re stuck on thinking that we are number one, there's no doubt in our minds that we can do everything on our own. Or so we think.

The problem with this is that we weren’t created to be an island. God didn’t create us to be alone, survive alone, and need no one else.

Remember that part of the Bible where God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18)? We need each other– no matter how much brains, beauty, or brawn we have. We were meant to be a community, cultivate goldy friendships, and walk out our spiritual gifts to the benefit of fellow believers (1 Peter 4:10-11).

“I am the vine, you are the branches; the one who remains in Me, and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

— John 15:5 NASB

The mentality that we can do all things on our own takes the Lord out of the equation.

When we think this way, we put ourselves in a place where we act as though we are as all-knowing, all-powerful, and as wise as God. We come to believe that we know what’s best for our lives 100% of the time, and what’s best for others.

Instead, the Lord calls us to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), love, rejoice with, and be devoted to one another, among many other things (Romans 12:9-21).

RELATED: For a full list of ways you can encourage your circle and serve one another, grab a free copy of this actionable guide.

We can only do all these things through Him, with Him, and by His guidance. It isn’t us. And, we don’t have to be strong enough because His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). That’s good enough for me.

Refute the Lies

Sister, you don’t have to bow down to these modern-day idols. Study the Word. Meditate on what the Bible says about idolatry. Keep the Lord number one in your heart.