When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you have aspirations, hopes, and dreams when you were a little girl? Is that what you’re doing now?
When I was younger, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. It’s not that I didn’t have any high aspirations or goals, but the only thing I ever wanted to be was a mom. So when high school came around and it was time to start thinking about college and selecting a major, I struggled. I remember it felt like I just picked a major out of thin air because it sounded interesting, and because going to college and pursuing a career was what I was “supposed” to do.
That mentality put me on a course of transferring schools 3 different times and changing my major twice…all within 2 ½ years of college. From Virginia to Philly, back to my hometown in PA, you could say I spent my time on an East Coast college tour.
It wasn’t until the end of my college experience that I came to a revelation. In the Speech class I was taking, we had to do a short presentation about what we wanted to do after we graduated. I remember fumbling around with what to say because I was only thinking in terms of careers; I mean, that’s what we were there for right? It was then that I realized, that wasn’t me. That wasn’t what was on my heart and I knew if it had to be a passion I made up, it probably wasn’t real.
So I did my presentation on why I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
That was the point that I realized how foolish the last 2 ½ years had been. I’d been walking on a path leading to nowhere instead of following something the Lord had put on my heart.
Flash forward 17 years later— and I bet you’ll never guess what I do now. ;)
I know many who are living out their childhood dreams, just as I am now blessed to stay home with my kids; and I know many more whose lives look completely different than they imagined. I’m sure you do too.
And, guess what? Both scenarios are ok.
Oftentimes we have no idea what we want in life (and I’m talking about us now, as adults!). We think we do; we think we know what’s best, and sometimes we may to a degree. But, many times what we would choose for ourselves is not what the Lord would have for us.
The key question is always, “What does the Lord have for me?”
How to Find Your Purpose
There is a lot of talk in the world about finding your purpose in life. In order to find your purpose, you don’t need to look to your friends, take all the personality tests, or read all the latest self-help books.
Finding your purpose in life starts with seeking the Lord. He is your Creator– He made you; He formed you in your mother’s womb and has all of your days fashioned (Psalm 139:16). He knows your worth, your value, and what He has planned for your life.
It starts with the Lord, sister. It begins with prayer– coming before your Heavenly Father and bearing your soul to Him.
Ask Him to reveal to you what it is that He is calling you to do. He may not give you every detail and notion and layout His entire path for you in one sitting, but He will reveal something to you. You just need to be ready to receive it and to obey, especially if it looks nothing like what you thought it would (which happens often!).
“My son, if you receive my words,
And treasure my commands within you,
So that you incline your ear to wisdom,
And apply your heart to understanding;
Yes, if you cry out for discernment,
And lift up your voice for understanding,
If you seek her as silver,
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
Then you will understand the fear of the LORD,
And find the knowledge of God. ”
your desires, or God’s?
Psalm 37:4 says that when you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart. But take caution— that doesn’t mean that He’ll give you anything and everything that you desire or want.
What it means is more along the lines of this: When you seek Him and all He is with the purpose of growing deeper in your knowledge of Him, and therefore getting to know Him better, you’ll begin to delight in Him (I mean, how could you not– He is such a good God!). When you delight in Him, your heart will begin to change, the desires and plans He has for your life will become evident to you, and they will become your desires as well.
So, as a Christian woman, the question is not how to find your purpose; the question is, how to seek God more deeply so you can get to a point where you wholeheartedly delight in Him.
Seek the Lord. Pursue righteousness. Delight in Him. As He reveals His will to you, find your calling in Him, not in the world or your own will.
RELATED: How to Pursue Righteousness
A Lesson from Paul
Paul was called to preach the gospel, and he knew it. For him, it wasn’t an option– the Lord called him, and he would be obedient to do so. The word woe is an exclamation of grief. In other words, to Paul, it’d be a tragedy affecting the deepest depths of his soul to not preach the gospel.
“ For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel!”
Do you feel that way about anything in life? Is there anything in your life that you feel would cause you to literally die if you don’t get to do it? For me, it’s being a mom. I always knew in the depths of my soul that I wanted to be a mom. Woe is me if I can’t be a mom.
Paul was walking in such close steps with the Lord that He knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was to be preaching the gospel.
I don’t believe Paul was any more special than you are today, sister. The Lord created you as His workmanship: He has good works that He prepared for you before you were born, and He desires for you to walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).
To determine and carry out what the Lord is calling you to do, you need to use discretion, discernment, and eliminate distractions. Let’s briefly dive into each of these and see the role they play.
What is Discretion?
The general description of discretion is the right to choose what should be done in a particular situation. Biblically, discretion often goes hand-in-hand with obtaining wisdom. When we receive and properly utilize God’s wisdom, knowledge and discretion will be found in our lives (Proverbs 8:12). We’ll be able to approach a situation with God’s view in mind, and act accordingly based on His Word.
We see that the Lord used discretion in creation:
“He has made the earth by His power,
He has established the world by His wisdom,
And has stretched out the heavens at His discretion. ”
Sister, if you are seeking the Lord as we talked about, you’ll be in close communication with the Father. This means that His will for your life won’t be unobtainable knowledge floating around in some vast unknown. As you’re wrestling with knowing what the Lord is truly calling you to do, you must use discretion in the form of godly wisdom to filter out the noise.
Does what you presume to be your calling line up with the Word or does it seem to have a worldly bend to it? Will it keep you on the Lord’s path, or provide opportunities to pull away from Him? These are all things you can consider when finding your purpose.
Because discretion is one of the results of obtaining wisdom (Proverbs 8:12), you can rest assured knowing that God’s wisdom never fails. If you allow it, discretion will preserve you (Proverbs 2:11), keeping you safe as you venture into the Lord’s will for your life.
Discernment in the Bible
Then comes the path, sister— the path you take which the Lord has called you to. In order to stay on this path, faithfully doing what the Lord intends requires discernment.
Whether this path is ministry, a new job, relocation, selecting a future spouse, or school choice for your kids– you must use discernment while walking out your calling. It’s imperative.
The standard dictionary definition of discernment is the ability to judge people and things well. As we view discernment in the Bible, we see that it goes much deeper and more specifically than that.
Under the Law, one of the roles of the priests was to teach the people the difference between right and wrong; holy and unholy (Ezekiel 44:23). They were to help them to discern the difference between the world’s ways and God’s way. But for us, now living under grace, in Christ, we have the Holy Spirit dwelling within us. He then brings us spiritual discernment— day by day, moment by moment.
Sister, as you grow in the Lord, seeking Him, and spending time in the Word, you progress in spiritual maturity. Thus, your discernment grows.
“But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil. ”
Without spiritual discernment, you are susceptible to falling into the world’s traps. You don’t realize what you are doing. You’re blinded and more easily engage in foolish living. You can’t distinguish between the Word of God and man’s philosophy.
Indeed, discernment is what helps you to have understanding and to walk uprightly (Proverbs 15:21).
No matter what the Lord is calling you to do, it’s folly to venture into your calling with a lack of discernment. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, you have the ability to discern good from evil, unholy from holy; fruitful from fruitless. And, this is not just in the big things, sister! In even the smallest of the “next steps” or decisions you have to make, the Spirit will guide you if let Him.
Don’t ignore Him!
When you cry out for discernment and ask for understanding, the Word says you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God (Proverbs 2:3;5).
I don’t know about you, but that sounds like a pretty good deal to me!
Eliminate Distractions and Focus on Your Calling
Distractions keep up from focusing on the Lord’s calling in our lives. The first step to eliminating distractions is to identify and acknowledge the things that are in fact distractions. Don’t waste another moment of unnecessary time, sister! Download the FREE Time Wasters Log containing easy, actionable steps to win back your time.
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Eliminate Distractions
Again sister, you’ll find a lot of information and direction from the world teaching you how to find your purpose. Just do a Google search and you’ll see. Yet, I believe two of the main reasons most people never live out their purpose are because:
Their will does not line up with God’s will. Without belief in and acceptance of Christ’s redemptive work on the cross and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, there’s no way they can be in tune with the Lord.
They decide their purpose (on their own), and additionally allow every other facet of their life and voices in the world to distract them.
Remember that story I told you about my college experience? Yup, that was a few years of being distracted!
A distraction is a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else.
A thing. Any thing.
Sister, your best attempts to serve the Lord and your best commitments to your church can be distractions if they aren’t what the Lord is calling you to do. Even if He was calling you to something during a previous season of your life, it may not still hold true now. His will for you at this moment may look differently now. This is why you must stay in constant communication with the Lord– He knows what you need and where you need to be at any given time.
Distractions don’t allow you to fully engage with the Lord as you should, and therefore you’ll likely miss what He is calling you to do.
Do you struggle to eliminate distractions in your life? I think most of us do. But it’s so important if you are to stay focused on His mission.
A few tips to eliminate distractions
#1: identify
The first thing that I’ve found to help me eliminate distractions is to first identify the distractions. We won’t get rid of them if we don’t see them as distractions, right?! Take an honest look at your life— what frivolous things are you doing that waste your time?
#2: evaluate
Evaluate your personal screen time. TV, social media, or games on your phone can be huge distractions if done too much. I don’t mean to sound harsh, sister, but if you never miss a beat on your Facebook feed but find it difficult to have a daily quiet time with God, you’re distracted.
#3: ask got for his viewpoint
Ask God to point out any good things that you may not initially view as distractions. This could be in the form of areas where you’re serving or certain relationships you have. Your heart and intentions may be pure and you’re likely doing a really good thing— yet, if it’s not what the Lord has for you at this time, it’s distracting you from His will for your life right now.
#4: pray for protection
Pray and ask the Lord to help you to keep distractions at bay. You can’t do it in your own strength! Distractions have a way of looking shiny and enticing. Let God help you stay focused.
#5: seek the lord
Seek God for His will for you now. Once your major distractions are out of the way you’ll be able to see more clearly what He wants you to do. Again, “finding your purpose in life” as they say, only comes in Him and through Him. So step one is always seeking the Lord.
You’re Called for a Purpose
You are a woman created on purpose, sister! Don’t forget that. You were created on purpose, yes, but the Lord also has a purpose in mind for you. Don’t miss it. He wants to reveal it to you, and He wants you to continually seek Him and be aware of when He’s telling you to transition from one season to the next.
Although yes, I am a stay-at-home mom, I wasn’t always. I worked full-time for a good 13 or 14 years (and became a mom during that time) before staying home. My working career brought me many blessings and taught me numerous skills that I now use in ministry and in writing this blog. So it served a purpose the Lord had in my life… for that time.
But when the season changed and He called me to stay home, that’s what needed to happen. He has different plans for me in this season, and I need to stay in tune with Him so I’m always aware.
Sister, His purposes for your life may not look the same in each season, but God is the same. He doesn’t change. And, He will be faithful to carry you through and guide you as you remain faithful to Him.
So, join me in spending less time seeking your purpose in life, and instead— just seek God. That’s where all the answers are found.
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